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A Virtual Boyhood
By Colleen Carroll Campbell
Posted: Monday, February 22, 2010

ARTICLE
St. Louis Post-Dispatch
Publication Date: February 18, 2010

His twin sister was placid even in the womb. But he liked to flip, jump and kick right from the start. And ever since he made his dramatic debut via emergency C-section last fall, my son has been the epitome of that exuberant energy for which little boys are famous.

Watching this 5-month-old dynamo struggle to crawl, grasp at toys just beyond his reach and shout joyful contributions to the adult conversations he desperately wants to join, I can tell that he's going to be a handful. And a whole lot of fun.

I worry, though: How long will he retain that innocent enthusiasm for the thrills of being a little boy in a wide, wonderful world? How soon will he feel the pressure to swap those thrills for the smaller, virtual ones that come via television, video games or the Internet? I want him to spend his carefree boyhood days chasing bullfrogs and building tree forts, not sequestered in his room viewing racy websites or playing endless rounds of "Grand Theft Auto."

The odds are not on my side. According to a new study from the Kaiser Family Foundation, American children ages 8 to 18 now spend an average of nearly eight hours a day using entertainment media, defined as televisions, computers, smart phones and the like. That does not include time spent texting or talking on the phone.

Boys consume more media than girls, mostly due to boys' fondness for computer and video games. Boys devote more time than girls to nearly every media activity, save listening to music and, sadly, reading. (Girls read an average of 43 minutes a day; boys only 33.)

What's wrong with all this media use among boys? Is it just the new normal?

Not so fast, says Dr. Meg Meeker. A pediatrician and bestselling author of parenting books, Meeker told me in an interview last week that excessive electronic media use is a major contributor to the troubles boys face today -- with violence, distorted views of sex and women, and the failure to build rewarding real-life relationships. Even before the new Kaiser data appeared, Meeker was sounding the alarm about the dangers of a boyhood spent glued to a TV or computer screen instead of romping through the great outdoors.

Meeker knows all about the studies that link too much screen time to increased aggression, depression, promiscuity, obesity and poor grades. In her most recent book, "Boys Should Be Boys," she argues that it's not just the media content that should worry us. It's the time our sons spend absorbed in virtual reality.

"Electronic media entice boys in part because the boy feels in complete control of it," Meeker writes. "If he doesn't like what someone in a chat room is saying, he logs off. If he loses a video game, he shuts it off and tries again. He calls the shots."

Time spent exploring nature, playing sports and relating to parents and peers face-to-face is not nearly as predictable. And that's good for a boy, Meeker says, because he "is forced to confront difficulties and find resolutions; he is forced, in a word, to mature."

Given the profile of the average video-game player that emerged from a recent Centers for Disease Control and Prevention survey -- he is 35, overweight and prone to social isolation -- it seems that technology addiction already has derailed the maturity process for many boys.

The good news is that parents can have an impact on boys' media habits. The Kaiser study found that only about three in 10 children say their parents set rules about how much time they can spend watching television or playing video games, and slightly more than a third say their parents set such rules about computer use. Yet children whose parents set media rules consume nearly three hours less media per day than those without any restrictions.

We parents still wield plenty of clout with our kids, including our rambunctious boys. If we use it wisely, we can offer them the priceless gift of a boyhood filled with wonder -- not at virtual reality, but at the rough-and-tumble joys of the real thing.

Colleen Carroll Campbell is an author, television and radio host and St. Louis-based fellow at the Ethics and Public Policy Center. Her website is www.colleen-campbell.com.